Trick or Treat?

The other night in my college class, it is a break and we are talking about costumes. One of the girls asks if I am going to wear a costume to my daytime teaching job. I tell her no that I don't need to give the junior high kids any more ammo. She says that I could go as an M&M that that costume seems to be the universal teacher costume. I then tell her about the funniest costume that I've seen-two guys come to a party with the M&M costumes but they have taken off one of the M's and replaced it with an S so they are now are S&Ms. Everyone laughs...all except one girl who has been listening. She asks, "I don't get it. They came as Skittles and M&Ms?"

Hungry?

Sometimes, instead of just giving the students a page number I will give them a math problem to come up with the page themselves. Today in science I told the kids that I was going to give them a math problem.

G., a ninth grader, pipes up and says, "Give us Raman Noodles."

Stunned I just looked and said, "what?"

Again he says, "Give us Raman Noodles."

Confused I say, "G., I don't know what you mean-what do you mean 'Raman Noodles?"

He says, "You know, where you have letter instead of numbers."

The light goes on..."You mean Roman Numerals?"

G. says, "yeah, that's it."

It wasn't even close to lunch yet :-)

The reasons for hiccups

D., a ninth grader, was hiccupping Friday. After several minutes of nonstop hiccupping I asked him jokingly why he was hiccupping so much. He said that he didn't know but that he had heard that hiccupping happened when demons were trying to come into your body. My response? I told him to keep on hiccupping that I didn't want any demons in my classroom.

Thoughts from the week

I've been a little neglectful of my new hobby so here are some thoughts from this past week.

We made pin-hole constellations out of black construction paper. We put them on the overhead projector so we could see their constellations projected on the wall. J., an eighth grader, went last. His constellation (probably the best of the lot) was of the Mickey Mouse head. A couple of other kids snickered and J. got furious thinking they were laughing at him. We said, "J. that was very creative-good job." His response? With fists pumping in the air, "Just because it was creative doesn't mean it was!" Hmmm....

Another student upon hearing some kidding that he rode the short bus to school noted, "It's not a short bus, it's just missing some seats."

No school the past two days

No school the past two days so here's a blast from the past...

Little K., a ninth grader last year, got mad one day and wanted to go home. Becoming noncompliant we (my fellow teacher and I) placed him in our time out booth and proceeded to get the school's police officer…K. banged on the door and said we were racist…cop laughs..says..”um..K..you’re white.” (both teachers are as well)

All you gotta do is ask

Each day I give the students a starter. Today's starter was "Would you rather be deaf or blind?" Going around all the students said that they would rather be deaf. The reasons were different for each one but mostly because the students would still want to be able to see to read or watch TV or play video games. When it came J's turn, the eighth grade boy said "I'd rather be blind." Startled I asked why. He said, "So I can be a blind swordsman!"

I coulda guessed that...(not).

Aiming high

Somehow the conversation today turned towards retail stores. D., a ninth grader, made the comment that if he could earn a degree good enough to allow him to work in a store he was going to aim for Walmart.

Who says you can't dream big?

I've heard of a potty mouth but never...

I said something and one of my students burst out laughing...he apologized and said that he had a sewer mind. Explaining, he noted that he watched too much South Park and made everything dirty.

New Muscle Groups

Today, upon seeing another student struggle with carrying something, C. calls out, "You need to build up your forearm muscles....you're forearms are muscles, ya know."

Now that's one big muscle.

Random comment

This happened last week...the students were working on an independent assignment. I look over and D. is rubbing is head and looks frustrated. I ask if he is okay and he responds, "Uggh, I can't think because I'm right handed."

Jeez, I guess being right handed is more trouble than I thought.

Found treasures

I was digging through my notes and found some interesting quotes from students.

Seeing me approach, a student says about another, "If he says I called him an idiot-he’s lying." That is exactly what I was going to talk to him about.


Discussing The Civil War in US History I began by asking if the students knew what it was. One astute young man answered, "The civil war was when the whites and blacks fought for freedom…no wait, that was the Mexican-American War."


A random comment from D., "I can’t put lipstick on my forehead-my girlfriend may think I’m too sensitive" then a long pause before adding, "or too stupid." Hmm....I think I know which one...



D. on trying to explain why he was so tired after a three day weekend, "I had a car rollover but don’t tell my dad-he doesn’t know about it. Someone paid my bill but I don’t know who."

J. on why he will not but will fight another young man over a girl, "If he wants to fight, I’ll go toes. If he wants to fight him I’ll fight but I’m not going to make him."

Would you like paragraphs with that?

I also teach at a local college. The students had their first assignment coming up and I told them that I preferred their papers to be in APA style. After class the other night a student comes up and tells me that she has never written in "ADA style" and then asks if she is required to have paragraphs with her paper. Holding back my laughter I told her that I would appreciate them very much.

The Evacuation

Yesterday we had an evacuation drill. Little W. was walking beside me to the college across the street that we use as our relocation site in such drills. When we sat down in the ampitheater there were junior high girls in the front of us dancing and screaming. There were junior high girls and boys behind us dancing and screaming. Little W looks at me and asks, "Have you ever felt like you were in attendance at a butthead convention?" I reply that I have not and he just shakes his head, "I feel like I'm at one now."

Walking back from the evacuation the PE teacher is yelling (half joking, but also to make a point) for the kids to stay on the sidewalk. Little W. says to me regarding the PE teacher, "Dude, she's crazy, huh?" I say that she is and he shakes his head and says "I guess we all have our issues, eh?"

A New Beginning

Nothing satisfies the soul quite like laughter. In this stressful world and these stressful times, humor is an ally to our spirit as well as reason to face the mundane world of work. As a teacher I find my job stressful and sometimes I am perplexed that I have survived for just over seven years teaching special education at the junior/middle school. I have found that my source of anxiety to be mostly the adults that I encounter and my source of humor-or reason to return-to be from my students.

I also teach at the postsecondary level part time and my heart is both saddened and contented by the idea that students do not really change-they just get older.

So I thought I would post some of yesterdays and yesteryears comments from students here and maintain this blog as an outlet of journaling and hopefully as a source of a smile or two from whomever reads.